i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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