dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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