i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
