like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
