you traded sex for a burrito?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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