This is not my ceiling
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
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