I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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