Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
