he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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