So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Randomize
