just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
