Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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