I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Randomize
