Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You have to summon your inner elephant
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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