My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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