Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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