thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
