He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
