I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
