never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
