Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just had sex on a roof
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
