he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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