i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
