wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
