Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
