If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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