when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
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Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
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Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
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