Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
There r osticjed everywhere
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
