So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
