ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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