He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
