it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
