craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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