There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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