I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
