you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
