I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
