Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
