I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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