even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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