I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
PANTIES FOUND
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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