i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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