Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
