Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
