If that was your dad, he is hot
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
