The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
