im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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