she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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