is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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