By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Found your dick twin last night
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
