I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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