Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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