Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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