He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
