well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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