I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
A+ Viking dick
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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