On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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