I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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